Winter due date?? Fall class announcement

If you are expecting a baby this winter (December or later), now is the time to reserve your spot in the fall childbirth education class series. Classes will start the first week of October and end the first week of December. Click on the "classes" tab above for more information!

Birthing Our Home

Fall of 2010, I gave birth to a precious little girl who fills my life with joy.  A year later (almost to the day!), fall of 2011, we purchased our first home. I have spent months contemplating the similarities between those two events, drawing parallels, and trying to decide which was harder!

Like most young couples, we had a pretty limited budget for our home, and we liked a certain geographical area, which made our search even harder. In the end, we felt very blessed to find a home with plenty of space in a very welcoming neighborhood. That said, the home was a short sale, and it needed a lot of work. Taking this old house and making it ours felt like giving birth to a home! (complete with early labor's excitement, active labor's hard work, transition's tears...)

Here are a few of the parallels I've found between these two valuable experiences:

Evaluate your expectations- As we began the home search, my husband and I learned a lot about ourselves and our preferences. My family moved many times growing up, and we always ended up in new houses in newer neighborhoods. Not surprisingly, when my husband and I looked at newer houses, they automatically "felt better" to me. My husband's family lived in slightly older homes, and he fell in love with the ramblers and split-level homes that reminded him of his enjoyable growing-up years. Both new homes and old homes come with advantages and disadvantages- one is not necessarily inherently better, just different. After we recognized our differing views and acknowledged them openly, it made our search go much more smoothly (and neither of us felt attacked if we didn't automatically agree because we had a better understanding of each other). In the end, compromises helped us find something that felt right to both of us!

When considering a birth location/care provider, couples should consider how their backgrounds and experiences will play into that decision. What are your ideas about birth? How does your family feel about birth- do they regard it as a natural, exciting process or one of impending medical catastrophe?

Perhaps one partner comes from a family where home birth is common. This person will most likely feel safer and more comfortable birthing at home. If the other partner has only ever experienced hospital birth (especially crazy dramatized t.v. hospital birth), that person may not be sure how to feel about an out-of-hospital birth. There are advantages and disadvantages to birth at a hospital, birth center or home- it is important that each partner addresses their specific goals, concerns, and feelings.

Take time to become educated about your options, talk about it, and make the best decision for your situation!

Know when to accept help- In the beginning of the moving process, I was so organized, and I enjoyed packing the boxes! In the last days and hours, though, I knew there was no way I could finish on my own. Exhaustion had set in. I allowed family and friends to see my most embarrassing messes as they so willingly helped us get out of our apartment on time. One friend (who has two small children) came over for a few hours on Halloween afternoon to scrub my bathrooms so we could turn in our keys that night. I had never let her past my living room before! We are much closer friends today (hey, once someone has scrubbed your dirty toilet, you don't feel quite as self conscious around them anymore!).

In birth and new parenthood, it can be tempting to want to only let people see you at your very best. It is important, though, to know when to accept help...and to recognize that by letting the right people help you, you will be strengthening important relationships. If you're in labor and your partner is too far from home, call that friend to drive you to your birth place! When a neighbor offers to bring in a meal, don't worry about if the house is clean- accept their offer and get some much-needed rest. If you have the courage to admit to another mom that you're not sure if you are doing it right, they will probably tell you they felt the same way! We aren't made to do this alone...

Stick to your guns We have wonderful, exceedingly helpful extended family members. We also found great contractors, workers, etc. to help with our home. Along with great work came a LOT of suggestions- everyone had a vision of how our house could turn out. We were grateful for the suggestions, and we took many of them, but in the end, we knew we had to be responsible for the decisions we made for our house.
We were glad we said no to some of those suggestions...or maybe just "not now."

The same goes for birth (birth plans, anyone?). As a couple, research and learn about your choices in childbirth. Talk to those you respect and hear about their experiences, but don't bend to pressure to do something you aren't comfortable with. It's okay to say, "Thanks for that idea. I appreciate your input. If I have any questions about that, I'll ask you. We've decided that _____ is best for us."  Then, be flexible, and re-evaluate if your situation changes.

Baby Steps We've concluded that even if we worked day and night for months on end, our house will never be "finished." There will always be another project. We can choose to focus on the cracked driveway, or we can enjoy family time in our beautiful home while we save up for more repairs. :-) We've chosen to  make a long-term goal list and ENJOY our little girl and our fun house!


It can be tempting with a baby to want everything just right, right now. I especially see this in "sleeping through the night" and reaching milestones (crawling, walking, etc.). You can choose to be frustrated by your baby's lack of ability, or you can hold them close, take a mental picture, and enjoy the fleeting moments. Soon enough...soon enough...


Understand that someday life will return to normal (and you will get to shower!) We decided we needed to paint our entire house (ceilings, walls, trim...everything)...in addition to having lots of other work done. Luckily, we had two weeks where we could live in our old apartment at night and work on the new house during the day. Every morning, as soon as I woke up, I would throw on some old clothes and had over to the new house to start working. Late at night, we'd return home to the apartment and totally crash. My "breaks" were running to the paint store or grabbing some food. I hoped the paint stains on my clothes were enough explanation for why I was out in the middle of the day in sweats with unkempt hair and no makeup, looking like I hadn't slept in days!

In those first days (weeks, months?!) after birth, when those pre-pregnancy clothes don't fit yet and the days and nights are a blur, living in sweatpants and never leaving the house can be totally normal. For those days, it is important to remember that this stage is only temporary...and as soon as you are able,  a shower and some matching clothes can go a long ways towards making you feel human again! (Buying a few pairs of normal clothes in my postpartum size was so worth it!).

It just keeps getting better...and harder...and better We have now accomplished many of the projects on the original home improvement "To Do" list. We love our home and the work we've put into it has really paid off. For each item we accomplish, though, it seems we discover something else that needs to be repaired, replaced, or updated.  Then, we take a deep breath and remember how much we love the space we have and our nice neighborhood. In the last few weeks, flowers we didn't know existed burst from the ground and have started to bloom. What a gorgeous special surprise!

The first few weeks with a new baby are amazing...and entirely exhausting. Then your little baby starts to smile, to babble, to roll over, and you think, "It doesn't get better than this!" That precious little baby soon learns to get into everything and goes through a cranky teething stage. For each rough spot, parents are rewarded with sweet moments and fun surprises. Our little girl is about one and a half and she is SO funny and super adorable! It just keeps getting better (the challenges are totally worth it).

So now you know why I haven't posted much over the last several months!

I am so grateful for my sweet little girl...and grateful for our wonderful home to live in. The things in life that take the most work are the ones we enjoy the most, right??

Have you found parallels between childbirth and other experiences in life?

New Beginnings

Becoming a mom is a life-changing event in innumerable ways. Through giving birth and raising a child, often a woman rediscovers who she is and what matters to her!

 With new beginnings come new opportunities. I am grateful that my daughter’s birth started me on the path of becoming a childbirth educator, which I absolutely love and am passionate about. However, before my pregnancy, I never would have considered it!

This week, I met a remarkable lady who had a somewhat similar discovery. Michelle Hoyles was living near Portland when her first son was born. A friend gave her a gift certificate, as a shower gift, for a custom artwork of her baby’s handprint and footprint. After her son was born, Michelle had the artwork made and it become a cherished piece of their family history.

Fast forward a few years. Michelle, now living in the Salt Lake area, had a second son. She wanted to have another piece of artwork made, this time with her second baby’s prints, so she could display them together. Michelle began looking for an artist to do the impression for her. However, she was frustrated in her search and couldn’t find anyone who offered the product she was looking for.

As a former elementary school teacher with an art minor, Michelle saw this void as an opportunity. She decided to go back to Portland to train in this art method. When she came back, she continued to develop her technique and has since opened her own business, Impressions Clay Prints.

I was fortunate enough to visit Michelle’s home and studio and see her in action. Her work is beautiful. She explained a bit about the process. First, she rolls out clay. This clay, she informed me, is totally safe and non-toxic, meaning that even preemie babies can have their impressions done. (What a keepsake that would be for those parents!)

Then, she masterfully takes the child’s prints (and if she could get a good print off my squirmy one-year-old, you know she has skill!). That’s all that’s required of you- just a few minutes.

The impression then gets placed in the kiln. After that, it is hand-painted and glazed.

The process of hand-painting just the actual handprint or footprint (or paw-print) is what really makes the piece special. It highlights every line and really makes the piece attractive. Some other businesses (or do-it-yourself kits) will do a handprint or footprint, but they glaze the entire thing, so the print isn’t visible from far away. Also, the process Michelle uses will create a lasting keepsake, instead of a piece that will crumble away over time, like plaster does.

To finish it off, Michelle paints the child’s (or animal’s) name and age, and adds a beautiful ribbon.

I love the idea of clay impressions, because it is a unique keepsake that both you and the child will treasure as time goes on. (And, unlike pictures, you don’t have to stress about your baby’s hairstyle or expression…or your remaining baby weight!).

Some of the options in creating your artwork- size, color, etc.

Cute little one-of-a-kind ornament!

Visiting with Michelle was such a good reminder to me that motherhood is something to be treasured. We should treasure these moments, because before we know it, the little tiny baby we adored is a toddler…or teenager! Hopefully, in the midst of fully appreciating our children, motherhood will allow each of us the opportunity to do a bit of rediscovery and appreciate our passions and talents!

How do you capture memories with your children? Photos, Artwork, Videos?

What have you discovered about yourself since becoming a mother? 

P.S. To find out more about Michelle's work, visit her website at http://www.impressionsclayprints.com. You can schedule an appointment for you or plan a group event (parties, preschools, etc.). She also offers gift certificates!

***GIVEAWAY! Michelle is giving away a $45 gift certificate to one lucky reader (use for yourself or give to someone as a wonderful gift!)


To enter, you must do these three simple things:


1) "Like" Birth Utah on Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/BirthUtah (if you haven't already!)
2) "Like" Impressions Clay Prints on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Impressions-Clay-Prints/105407299547567 (if you haven't already)
3) Comment on this post, here on the blog, answering one (or both) of these questions above (in bold).
-Make sure you put your name, as it is on Facebook, when you comment on the blog.
-To comment, click at the bottom of the entry where it says "# comments" and it will open a comment box for you.


One entry per person! Enter now. Winner will be chosen on Wed, Dec. 21 (in time for Christmas!)

Due in 2012? Sign up today!

2012 seems far away when we haven't even reached Halloween yet, but it's just around the corner! I am now taking registrations for women with due dates in Feb 2012 or later....(click on the "childbirth classes" tab above for more info about classes). Sign up today!

Surround Yourself

Have you ever gotten really excited about something, then shared it with the wrong person, only to have your idea shot down? There's nothing like the feeling of going from totally pumped up to completely deflated.

On the other side of the coin, have you ever been excited to try something, then found a friend (or a group) who was very supportive of you? Maybe they were even a bit further down that path and could give you advice and cheer you on? It can make the biggest difference in your success.

The same is true in pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood. It is crucial to surround yourself with support for success.

In pregnancy, women must search out and find a supportive care provider who shares their view of an ideal birth, whether that person is a midwife, and ob-gyn, or a family practice physician. 

Also, couples should attend childbirth education classes, where they are given support in making decisions for their new family, and are surrounded by other couples in the same situation. This support is especially essential for those who are planning a natural birth and need to have support from people who understand the value of that experience (instead of the doubting comments from that coworker who says, "Just wait until you are in labor. Then you'll be begging for the epidural." Or, "a home birth? Are you crazy?!?"). Childbirth education helps to inform, prepare, and empower couples to achieve the best birth experience possible. 

Note, however, that no one can completely predict or control their birth experience- but by having support and education, that birth can be a positive experience, no matter how it turns out. In pregnancy, surrounding yourself with support can help you to be healthier, more positive about your birth experience, and better prepared for birth.

In childbirth, having a support person (or people), such as a supportive husband, partner, doula, or friend, can actually increase the likelihood of a satisfying vaginal birth experience and decrease the likelihood of necessary interventions. According to a study published by the World Health Organization, 

"The review demonstrates that women who receive continuous, one-to-one support are less likely to have regional analgesia/anaesthesia, operative vaginal birth, caesarean section.....In addition, women were more likely to have a spontaneous vaginal birth and less likely to report dissatisfaction with the childbirth experience" 

Check out this page from Childbirth Connection for more evidence about the importance of labor support.

Surrounding yourself with support during labor can make a difference by increasing your satisfaction with the birth experience, which will help you to have a better start as a new family.

In parenthood, it can be easy to get confused and frustrated by all of the different parenting philosophies and challenges. I encourage you, first, to surround yourself with support for breastfeeding, perhaps by attending  La Leche League meetings and activities. You may come to realize that the challenges you face today are totally normal and temporary. :) Or you may be given great ideas on how to overcome the challenges you are currently facing and enjoy your breastfeeding relationship even more.

Beyond breastfeeding, I encourage you to find a group (in person, online, even in books) that supports a parenting lifestyle you feel is best for your family. An example of virtual support is Progressive Parenting (a blog and online talk radio program). In some areas, there are meetings of Attachment Parenting International. Most places have some type of Mommy & Me group. If you can't find a group you feel comfortable with, maybe you can start one!

This past weekend I was able to gather for a few hours with some other natural childbirth teachers in the Salt Lake area, and it was such a great experience to discuss topics and share our enthusiasm with each other. I left feeling energized and excited. 

I encourage you to find people who lift you up in whatever situation you may be in. It doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with those who don't understand your birth or parenting goals. It just means that you set aside time to surround yourself with support! It will make the journey a bit easier; I promise. And, as you are being lifted by those around you....you're probably lifting them too!

Back to School Time- Learning to be an advocate

While I may not have posted lately, I have been very active in the birth/breastfeeding community over the past month. I had a fabulous time participating in the Latch On America event, the Breastfeeding Cafe, the Big Latch, the babywearing flash mob (all at the downtown library), and also at the Mother's Corner at the Davis County Fair. I'm now almost halfway through my series of childbirth education classes and absolutely loving it. I look forward to my class all week. I have awesome couples and I love sharing the important information with them as they prepare for the arrival of their little ones!

With the end of summer comes the beginning of school. Watching the back-to-school sales and hearing stories from my teacher friends makes me a bit nostalgic for the job I enjoyed for almost five years- that of an elementary school teacher. There are few jobs like it- no day is the same...and almost every day gives you a story to tell!

I am SO humbly grateful for the opportunity I have now to be a stay-at-home mom and be fully involved in my baby daughter's life. I hope I will continue to have that privilege for many years to come. I am also very grateful for the chance to teach childbirth education classes to expecting couples (usually just one night a week). It allows me to feel the joy of teaching, especially about a subject that I am so passionate about.

Remembering my years as a 5th and 6th grade teacher reminds me why I became a childbirth educator. I definitely preferred the "upper grades" of elementary school as a teacher- I loved working with students who could (basically) take care of their own needs, listen and follow directions (well, most of the time), and have a good conversation about a topic. However, there are some downsides to teaching older students. One of the downsides is the *drama* that comes with pre-teenagers (the note-passing, eye-catching, rumor-spreading age...).

The other difficulty is trying to help students at this age who are SO far behind in their academic progress. I worked in a very high-needs, high-poverty school. In my sixth grade class, each year I had students whose reading levels varied from above grade level to the BEGINNING reader level (like first grade level). The reasons for the deficiency were varied, and this post isn't intended to get into the politics of public education, but whatever the reason, the frustration and despair were real. Some students made impressive gains in their abilities, while it felt like others got farther and farther behind as the skills expected of a sixth grader were so far above their heads.

The parents, most of whom were facing huge pressures of trying to provide for a family in tough economic times with little education themselves, loved their children. I have so much respect for so many of the humble, loving families that I interacted with. I met parents who had sacrificed more for their children than I could even begin to imagine. They wanted their children to have a better life.

Many, however were not sure how to be advocates for their children. They did the best with what they knew how to do (and what they could handle at the moment). In those quiet moments, especially after meeting with parents at conferences, I really wished I could give them more. I wished I could pause the school year and sit individually with their child and help him/her to learn the necessary skills until he/she mastered them.

Even more than that, though, I wish I could have reversed the clock and helped these families have a better start. I wish I could have helped the parents advocate for their children long before they had a child in the sixth grade who was reading on a second grade level. I wished I could empower parents to learn the skills they need to help their children and advocate for their child's best interest.

In this midst of this teaching experience, my husband and I learned we were expecting our first baby. We took childbirth education classes, determined to give our baby the best start in life. In October of 2010, our little Molly joined our family in a beautiful birth-center birth. I don't profess that the decisions I made for my family are right for each person, but I do plead with parents to know their options and learn to be advocates for their child, even before he/she is born!

Did you know that many doctors/midwifes still routinely clamp and cut the umbilical cord immediately after birth even though repeated studies show that your baby benefits by waiting to cut the cord until it stops pulsing? These benefits can be shown immediately and even months after birth. By being informed of this practice, you can be an advocate for your baby and request that your baby's cord is not clamped or cut until it stops pulsing. Read more here.

Did you know that many school districts, including the Salt Lake City School District, have open school choice, which means that you can choose a school or program that is best for your child?

These are just two examples of how being informed can help you make the best decisions for your family and advocate for your children.

Dr. Sarah Buckley's book Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering discusses informed decision-making using the "BRAN" model. Dr. Buckley discusses procedures related to prenatal care and labor & delivery.

For each procedure, she outlines the:

Benefits to the proposed procedure

Risks (physical, mental, emotional)

Alternatives to the procedure

....and what happens if you do

Nothing

Once parents understand these four components, they are able to make an educated decision.

Obviously, this model could be used by all of us, whether we are making a medical decision during pregnancy or making a decision regarding our child's education. Wouldn't it be great if we were all this informed before we made decisions? With this type of information, we could truly be advocates for our kids (and ourselves!).

So, I became a childbirth educator because I'm passionate about birth and I believe it can and should be a sacred, significant, positive experience. Beyond that event, though, I hope to empower parents to become advocates for themselves and their children...starting now.

This post is a mix of my former (schoolteacher) and current (childbirth educator) opportunities--but I hope you will see how they are connected. Begin at birth to be informed and advocate for your children!

If you, or anyone you know, is expecting a baby, please check out my childbirth education classes!

Guest Post on SLC Breastfeeding Cafe Page

I'm proud to be the guest poster on Breastfeeding Cafe SLC's blog today--check it out and read other blogs on the topic of breastfeeding. Also, check out their events coming up soon!