Collin's Birth

The Birth Story of Collin Patrick Maloney

After my first two children had been born at 41 weeks, I was fully expecting my third pregnancy to go past its due date as well. I was prepared with plenty of activities to keep me busy those last couple of weeks and still had tasks to do on the to-do list. Having a due date of February 28, I had just been telling people “early March” since the beginning to try to keep the stress down as I fully expected my due date to come and go with a baby still inside. However, there was a little voice inside me that said, “maybe this baby won’t be late. What if he came early?” I couldn’t tell if it was some sort of intuition or just wishful thinking (my hips were quite sore towards the end!), so I kept that idea to myself and just kept plugging away. However, as February came around, the nesting instinct kicked in more than it had in the past and Jonny and I spent a lot of time organizing and getting things ready around the house.

We had an appointment with our midwife, Rebecca, on Thursday February 19 after work. Everything looked good and right on target. She asked us, “Are you getting anxious to have this baby?” to which we replied, “Just let us get through this weekend first. Jonny has a big paper and presentation for school that he needs to do. Then this baby can come whenever he is ready.”

The next day (Friday February 20), at 39 weeks exactly, I was having contractions throughout the day, starting when I woke up in the morning. I didn’t pay too much attention to them because I had been having contractions on and off for several days/weeks. These contractions were a bit more noticeable, but still mild and far apart. I complained to Jonny (at work) that they were annoying and I hoped they didn’t last for another two weeks til I went into “real” labor. The girls and I had a low key day at home, making some lactation cookie dough for the freezer and trying to get things cleaned up. The later the day got, the more urgency I felt to get the house clean. However, I wasn’t making progress fast enough as the kids were making messes and I was pausing for contractions while working.

Jonny got home from work around 4pm and I asked for his help to get the living room and kitchen clean. He was tired from a long day at work and felt like he was getting sick, but he joined in to put away toys and vacuum. After about a half hour of that, Jonny started to realize that I was pretty serious about it and asked if I might possibly be in labor. With tears in my eyes and feeling a little overwhelmed, I replied that I wasn’t sure, because neither of us could fathom the idea of having a baby at 39 weeks. At this point, Maggie (our 2 year old) had found a bucket of crayons and markers and was drawing all over herself and the wall. I started texting my neighbors to see if someone was available to watch the kids for an hour or two while we figured out if it was real labor. Jonny put the kids in a bath around 5pm and convinced me that maybe I should give my parents a heads up, since it was the plan for them to watch the kids during labor and birth.

I was really unsure if I wanted to send the kids away for the night, since I still thought it might be a false alarm, and the kids don’t usually do as well sleeping away from home (and hadn’t ever spent a night without me). So my dad (who was on his way home from a meeting in Green River) came here to play with the kids downstairs and my mom headed down from Ogden.

After Jonny gave the kids a bath, I took a nice hot shower, then locked myself in my bedroom and turned on relaxing music on Pandora (Steven Sharp Nelson channel) to cope with contractions and decide what to do. I texted, and then called Rebecca around 6:30  to let her know what was going on.  We decided we didn’t need her to come just yet, but we wanted her to be aware that we might need her that night.

Jonny got the kids bathed, in jammies, and made them some food while my dad entertained them downstairs. My mom showed up around 7, expecting to watch the kids at our house, but by the time she arrived, I was ready for the kids to go so I could have Jonny’s full attention. They got ready to go, and at quarter to eight as they were leaving, I let Rebecca know that we wanted her to come.

With the kids taken care of, Jonny sprang into action to get the birth tub set up and take care of my needs. I labored near him as he worked, kneeling on the floor leaning over the birth ball. Rebecca arrived at 8:30 and I was excited to get into the tub and accept the relief it offered, even though the water level was quite low still.

When I got into the tub, I labored sitting up, leaning back against the side of the tub, for quite a while. At this point, I felt like I slowed the intensity down a little bit (the water calming me down and getting into a position that wasn’t putting as much downward pressure) and we took a few moments to breathe and take in the fact that we were actually going to have a baby that night, which was still unbelievable to us! We discussed what we would name him, joking that maybe if we named him Sean (one of our top contender names), Jonny’s professor (Shaun) would give him a break on his assignment that was due. The other top name was Collin. A nickname for Collin (in the baby name book) was Cub, which I called him as I talked to him during labor.

We continued to add more warm water  as it was available (had to wait for the water heater tank to fill up again, so Rebecca boiled some water on the stove to supplement with) and Rebecca monitored my vitals and the baby’s heart beat. Everyone was doing really well. I switched positions and tried kneeling, resting my head and arms on the side of the tub. That position made labor more intense as it helped the baby continue to rotate and move down through my pelvis.

Rebecca reminded me that all over the world, women were doing exactly what I was doing, that we were sharing in this sisterhood of labor. I remember being filled with gratitude at that moment, and saying, “and I’m one of the lucky ones.” I was so grateful to be in a safe, comfortable, loving environment with an awesome husband by my side and a competent caring midwife monitoring the safety of myself and my baby. There was only love and joy and peace in our birth, no stress or anger or fear. Our baby was healthy and we had a safe loving home waiting to welcome him.

I started pushing as the pressure got lower and lower and at 10:22, my waters broke. At this point, I was expecting him to be born immediately since my girls were born within 1-2 minutes after the water breaking. He needed to move down a bit more though, and it took a few minutes for his head to be born. Everyone was excited that they could see that he had lots of hair. After his head was born, it took a minute for the rest of his body to be born, as he wasn’t rotating all the way, so I asked Rebecca to help him a bit. He was born at 10:28 pm and we were instantly in love! I was able to bring him right up to my chest as his cord wasn’t wrapped around him at all. His face was puckery and his eyes were squeezed shut as his vernix-covered body stretched out for the first time outside the womb. It took him a minute to start crying (although the cord was still giving him plenty of oxygenated blood so he was fine) as we talked to him and rubbed his skin. Once he had that first gurgly cry, he didn’t stop talking the rest of the night!

After bonding in the tub with him for a bit (and waiting for the cord to stop pulsating), Rebecca helped Jonny cut the cord and gave him the baby to hold while I moved to the bed. The placenta was slow to deliver, and our baby wasn’t quite ready to latch on (still working out fluid in his nose), so I got a shot of pitocin to try to help move things along. Even with that, it still wasn’t coming along very quickly. I was starting to get stressed that I was going to require a catheter (as a full bladder can inhibit the delivery of the placenta) or further interventions, so I asked Jonny to say a prayer that things would continue to go as smoothly as they had, and I would be able to deliver the placenta and be able to enjoy snuggling my boy! Gratefully, after that, the large placenta was delivered and the bleeding was minimal.

We finally weighed our baby boy and it was announced that he was 9 lb 1 oz and 21.5 inches. I felt so grateful to have delivered a 9lb baby and have no stitches needed! Rebecca gave him a full checkup and everything looked great! We put him in his first outfit (newborn-sized froggie jammies that we then decided were too small for our big boy!) and took lots of pictures and enjoyed snuggling with him. All night that first night he just purred and whimpered with every breath, which was so sweet. Once he got the hang of latching on, he was a great nurser. We enjoyed the quiet night with just us and our little boy, but we were anxious to introduce him to his sisters, who came back the next day mid-day. They thought he was pretty cute, and then the chaos of having three kids began! :) It took us a few days to “officially” decide, but we decided to name him Collin Patrick Maloney. And he is very loved by his parents, sisters, grandparents, and so many more!

and an updated photo (now 3 mo old):

Moments that Matter

What will you remember about nursing your baby?

The milk-drunk smile

Wide eyes eagerly watching you

Their warm little body snuggled next to yours

Little fingers touching you

Gulps and swallows as the tummy fills

Watching wrinkly feet turn plump over the first few weeks

Seeing those chubby thigh rolls and knowing it’s pure nutrition from your milk

Comforting a sad or sick baby

Contentment

…and so much more!

As new moms, we spend countless moments nursing our babies. At times, it may feel like it will never end and can even be overwhelming when exhaustion sets in. Like everything else with kids, though, before you know it your child will be grown up and no longer nursing. What will you remember?

We have this incredible bond, this incredible gift, that is breastfeeding. Whether for 2 days or 2 years, the time spent breastfeeding your child is so special. For some, it comes easily. For others, they have to fight through one struggle after another.  Regardless, the moments shared between mom and baby are special and deserve to be remembered.

So much of a newborn’s life is spent eating, but if you are like most moms, you don’t have any pictures to remember this special time together.

Enter Timbra Wiist, of Landslide Photography. Her specialty is nursing photography. I met Timbra in her role as the leader of the Murray group of La Leche League. I was then introduced to her photography skills at Latch on America, a breastfeeding event in the summer of 2011. My first daughter was about 9 months old at the time and I was running a booth about my childbirth education classes. Timbra was taking nursing portraits. She took a couple of shots of us together and I chose my favorite to keep. At the time, she offered to let me purchase the other  images, but I declined, thinking to myself, “If I want to pay for pictures, I’ll make sure and do it on a day when I’ve done my hair, I’m not so sweaty, etc.”

  

 Now I wish I could go back and get those images! I didn’t get it—photography isn’t only about creating an image of what you wished you look like…it’s about capturing a moment in time to remember. The great thing about professional photography is that it captures that moment in a flattering, but not fake, way.  Now that little baby is a full-fledged “big girl” (according to her) and recently became a big sister, which made her look SO much bigger than she ever had before.  I love her toddler-self. She’s hilarious, adventurous, creative, and loving.  As much as I love who she is at this moment, I realize I can never go back to the time she was smaller- only through memories, and photography helps to capture those memories.  I also love that nursing portraits show how normal, loving, and important it is to nurse your baby.  So, when Timbra said she’d like to do a giveaway to let one lucky reader have a photo session with her, I was eager to share that chance with you!

Let me share part of my interview with Timbra, so you can get to know her and her work a bit more. The responses in italics are her words, although I have edited for length and relevance.

Tell me about yourself.

I grew up in Northern California and lived there until moving to TX after high school, for a year, where I met my husband.   I am a wife and the mother of 2 little girls.  One was born in Fiji, the other here in Utah.  I am a La Leche League Leader, lactivist and this year I will be the Chairwoman for the Breastfeeding Cafe in SLC, for the second time (the first in 2011).  in 2011 I took on the role of Girl Scout Leader as well.  I absolutely love the water and the ocean.  

Tell me a little about your background in photography.

I have always enjoyed taking photos.  I think I got my first camera when I was 10.  It used 110 film, that long skinny film with the two little reels on either end :)  And I upgraded several times after that.  Through high school I traveled to the South Pacific several times and LOVED photographing children on those trips.  Living in Fiji in 2000, I really started enjoying photographing people and the interest in photographing people and my travels caught fire.  I spent 2 years studying photography, particularly photojournalism, event and portrait photography.  I have combined these styles of photography in my own work, a mix of "lifestyle," and formal portraiture.  My favorite subjects these days are my kids.  

Why do you specialize in nursing/newborn photography?

When I started out in photography, I REALLY loved wedding photography, my business was just getting off the ground in California when we moved out of the country.  When we returned to the US and relocated to Utah, wedding photography was a very difficult avenue to gain much ground in.  I did a few family sessions here and there, but after becoming a La Leche League leader and later working with the Breastfeeding Cafe in Salt Lake City, I became really excited about nursing portraiture.  I feel that my excitement surrounding photography has followed my own life path and while I still REALLY love event/wedding photography and find it to be quite thrilling, as I've become a mother I've come to enjoy documenting pregnancy, infancy, breastfeeding and childhood just as much, if not more so.

Describe a typical photo session.

A nursing portrait session generally goes pretty quickly.  A newborn nursing baby pretty much just nurses and nurses and it's easy to get several lovely photos.  An older nursling can be easily distracted, playful or sometimes frustrated about someone invading a nursing session. I try to stand back and let the child cuddle with mama for a bit then step in again when things seem more natural and comfortable, but these sessions also go quickly, because any little one over about 6 months old is generally interested in one way or another, in the big black box that has become part of the session :)  I think nursing portraits are great in someone's house, in the "usual" nursing spot, but they can be fun in parks and other pretty places too.  For other sessions?  With families, I know how it is to be the mom who spent months looking for coordinating outfits and hours trying to make sure no one fell and broke their nose that day leading up to photos, and how frustrating it can be when little ones decide they will just NOT comply and "smile nicely for the camera" (which is pretty much EVERY family I've ever photographed).  I try to remind families that I'm photographing their REAL family and real families don't all sit together and smile at the camera at the same time.  If someone is looking for a regal portrait to hang over the mantle, maybe I'm not your gal, but if you're wanting some photos that really capture your family in THIS moment, then that's what I seek to do.  And sometimes that means one child is off by him/herself, or someone's picking their nose or rolling their eyes. . .whatever it is, it's real!

What would you say to people who are unsure if they are comfortable with nursing portraits?

Nursing portraits are really intimate.  Some people are worried that nursing portraits will expose too much but are pleasantly surprised with the result of modest and beautiful photos that capture the essence of the breastfeeding relationship they have with their little ones.  The beauty of nursing portraits, particularly, is that you don't have to "do" anything, except that which you already do.  I have even gone to homes of new families requesting newborn photos and when baby decides to nurse, asked if the mother would like some photos, a mother who had NEVER thought of nursing portraits before, and later been told that she was pleasantly surprised by the beautiful result, namely because she pictured herself much differently when nursing.  The photos will reflect your feelings and personality within your nursing relationship, which will be different for every mother/child pair (triad).

Anything else you'd like to share?

Very often I have had women in my life say they wish they'd gotten maternity photos.  I have three photos of my first daughter nursing between birth and one month and none again until she was nearly TWO!  A few months after she turned 2, I embarked on nursing portraits as my niche.  I am remiss that I do not have more photos of her nursing, because it was a HUGE part of my every day mothering for the first years of her life, and most certainly for those early months.  Even if you decide not to have portraits done . . .  take some photos!  Sometimes we feel worried about how our bodies look rounded, awaiting babies, or nursing them and nurturing them, not quite back to our "fighting" pre-mother weight, but I hope that the photos I take, will reflect back to mothers that their bodies are doing AMAZING things, growing humans (in different stages) and that this will be what they see when their photos are returned to them.  

I love that Timbra “gets it” and has totally been there! She is in a beautiful place to use her talent to help new moms capture the moments that matter.

So here’s what you can win:

It's a 30 minute, on location session with 3 high resolution digital negatives of choice, a $65 value.

And here’s how you win:

Leave a comment on this blogpost about what you’ll remember about your nursing experience (or why you think nursing photography is a cool idea!). We’ll randomly pick one commenter to win the session. In order to win, you must also be a fan of Birth Utah and Landslide Photography on Facebook. You will be contacted by email.

CONTEST ENDS SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 9 at Midnight MST. Winner will be contacted by Monday, Feb 11 and announced on Facebook. 

Fine Print: This promotion is only featured by Birth Utah, but the giveaway is solely from Landslide Photography. They are responsible for coordinating with the winner to redeem the prize. It is not in any way sponsored by Facebook. One entry per person, regardless of how many times you comment. J

Surround Yourself

Have you ever gotten really excited about something, then shared it with the wrong person, only to have your idea shot down? There's nothing like the feeling of going from totally pumped up to completely deflated.

On the other side of the coin, have you ever been excited to try something, then found a friend (or a group) who was very supportive of you? Maybe they were even a bit further down that path and could give you advice and cheer you on? It can make the biggest difference in your success.

The same is true in pregnancy, childbirth, and parenthood. It is crucial to surround yourself with support for success.

In pregnancy, women must search out and find a supportive care provider who shares their view of an ideal birth, whether that person is a midwife, and ob-gyn, or a family practice physician. 

Also, couples should attend childbirth education classes, where they are given support in making decisions for their new family, and are surrounded by other couples in the same situation. This support is especially essential for those who are planning a natural birth and need to have support from people who understand the value of that experience (instead of the doubting comments from that coworker who says, "Just wait until you are in labor. Then you'll be begging for the epidural." Or, "a home birth? Are you crazy?!?"). Childbirth education helps to inform, prepare, and empower couples to achieve the best birth experience possible. 

Note, however, that no one can completely predict or control their birth experience- but by having support and education, that birth can be a positive experience, no matter how it turns out. In pregnancy, surrounding yourself with support can help you to be healthier, more positive about your birth experience, and better prepared for birth.

In childbirth, having a support person (or people), such as a supportive husband, partner, doula, or friend, can actually increase the likelihood of a satisfying vaginal birth experience and decrease the likelihood of necessary interventions. According to a study published by the World Health Organization, 

"The review demonstrates that women who receive continuous, one-to-one support are less likely to have regional analgesia/anaesthesia, operative vaginal birth, caesarean section.....In addition, women were more likely to have a spontaneous vaginal birth and less likely to report dissatisfaction with the childbirth experience" 

Check out this page from Childbirth Connection for more evidence about the importance of labor support.

Surrounding yourself with support during labor can make a difference by increasing your satisfaction with the birth experience, which will help you to have a better start as a new family.

In parenthood, it can be easy to get confused and frustrated by all of the different parenting philosophies and challenges. I encourage you, first, to surround yourself with support for breastfeeding, perhaps by attending  La Leche League meetings and activities. You may come to realize that the challenges you face today are totally normal and temporary. :) Or you may be given great ideas on how to overcome the challenges you are currently facing and enjoy your breastfeeding relationship even more.

Beyond breastfeeding, I encourage you to find a group (in person, online, even in books) that supports a parenting lifestyle you feel is best for your family. An example of virtual support is Progressive Parenting (a blog and online talk radio program). In some areas, there are meetings of Attachment Parenting International. Most places have some type of Mommy & Me group. If you can't find a group you feel comfortable with, maybe you can start one!

This past weekend I was able to gather for a few hours with some other natural childbirth teachers in the Salt Lake area, and it was such a great experience to discuss topics and share our enthusiasm with each other. I left feeling energized and excited. 

I encourage you to find people who lift you up in whatever situation you may be in. It doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with those who don't understand your birth or parenting goals. It just means that you set aside time to surround yourself with support! It will make the journey a bit easier; I promise. And, as you are being lifted by those around you....you're probably lifting them too!